Deutsch’s Diatribe

Here’s an expression I love: “Thank you in advance.”

It’s great because you say it assuming the person is going to do what you’ve asked them to do. In fact, by saying it, you infer that if the person doesn’t do what you’ve asked, then they should somehow feel a twinge of regret or guilt. As if what you’re asking isn’t that much of a burden and won’t take up too much of their time.

In many instances, you don’t even wait for them to answer. This is especially the case if you’re writing a letter . . . because how are they going to answer? With another letter?

“I know you’re going to do this, because I’m me and you’re you, so . . . thanks in advance.”

It’s almost as if they should feel grateful that you took the time to thank them in advance. After all, they should be happy you thanked them at all! I mean really, the unmitigated gall! What? Do they believe they deserve something MORE? What is the matter with people these days?

Um, sorry about that. I kind of got carried away. Please forgive me.

I thank you in advance.

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Think About This:

“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.”

Win Borden, author (1943 – present)

So of course, this is the time when you see all sorts of advice articles regarding New Year’s Resolutions, how to make them, how to keep them, etc.  One article I came across recently contained a rather interesting suggestion for how to ensure you keep your resolutions.  That suggestion is this one:

“Get better friends.”

Okay, now correct me if I’m wrong, but this sounds more like an actual resolution than it does a way in which to keep them. I suppose there are instances where it would make sense, say if your resolution was to “stop robbing banks.”  And if you’re a crystal meth addict, and you have friends who are crystal meth addicts, then it would also seem to be a sound strategy. But I’ve yet to have a friend of mine utilize peer pressure in an attempt to talk me out of a New Year’s Resolution.

“Matt, I heard about your resolution. It ain’t gonna fly.”
“But I feel that running every red light might be hazardous to my long-term health.”
“That’s going to reflect poorly upon us, your friends. Could you just stop smoking instead?”
“But I don’t smoke.”
“Maybe it’s time you started.”
“Okay, I’ll resolve to start smoking this year. I’ll resolve to stop next year.”
“Now you’re making sense.”

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Think About This:

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

Bill Vaughn, American columnist and author (1915-1977)

I love words. After all, I’m a writer. I also love how words evolve, develop, and are born.

That’s why I’m fascinated by things like Lake Superior University’s annual list of words they believe should be banned from everyday use. The school recently released its 35^th annual list, and as you might imagine, the list contains some deserving choices.  At the top of the list was the phrase “shovel-ready.”

The term refers to infrastructure projects that are ready to break ground and has been popularly used to describe road, bridge, and other construction projects fueled by stimulus funds from President Barack Obama’s administration.

But when you really think about it, that word could describe people, too. After all, we’re going to die one day. That makes us all “shovel-ready,” doesn’t it?

“Hey, Frank. I hear that Marco isn’t doing so hot these days.”
“No, he isn’t. He’s in the intensive care unit now. It don’t look too good.”
“He’s pretty much shovel-ready, ain’t he?”

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Think About This:

“Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands, and goes to work.”

Carl Sanburg, American writer, editor, and poet (1878-1967)

People underestimate the importance of desire. Nothing can happen without desire. It precedes every action, including the act of getting out of bed in the morning. If you don’t have a desire to do so, you’re not going to do so.

Actually, let me clarify that a little further. If your desire to get out of bed is not greater than your desire to stay in bed, then you’re not going anywhere. Everybody has a desire to do something. You might be saying to yourself, “You’re wrong, Matt. I don’t want to do anything.” Well, in actuality, you’re saying, “I have a desire to do nothing.”

And why is that? Because not only are both desire and lack of desire a conscious choice, so are the actions that result from them. Desire in the mind and the actions (or inactions) that follow do not exist in a vacuum. Ultimately, every person must decide what they will do with their desire or their perceived lack thereof.

That decision—and whatever results from it—represents desire on the part of the person who made the decision.

I’ll be writing about this subject in a number of future blogs. Namely because I have a desire to do so.

– — –

Think About This:

“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen, pulsating desire which transcends everything.”

Napoleon Hill, American author (1883-1970)

I’m starting a new blog series that’s really an old one. It’s my “Things I’ve Learned in Life” series. In the previous version of this blog, the series was good, but it was inflexible. In other words, it left no room for growth. That’s because sometimes the things you learn in life change, or the things you thought you learned are really smaller parts of something bigger . . . or they’re something different altogether.

This time, the series will more accurately mirror life. That means changes and amendments might have to be made, topics could be revisited due to the occurrence of recent events, or a past installment may be elaborated upon. Learning is a never-ending process, especially if the subject matter is as all-encompassing as what I’m attempting to tackle (and chronicle).

Considering the nature of the series, it will probably be the longest-running one in this blog. In addition, I’ll be re-posting some of my previous installments, although most of them will be altered in some fashion. Other posts, of course, will be brand new. The cool part is that I have no idea where this series will go, mainly because I’m not in control of it—not entirely, anyway.

Most of the time in life, you don’t know you’re going to learn something before you learn it, and sometimes you don’t even realize you’re learning something while you’re in the process of learning it. Talk about a suck-fest. The true tragedy, though, is forgetting things you’ve already learned . . . and maybe even making the same mistakes twice.

Of course, that can be avoided if you have your own blog.