Deutsch’s Diatribe

I see what airlines are doing to squeeze money out of people, and I can’t help but think what other businesses might do to increase profits during these uncertain economic times. But first, this colorful airline illustration:

“Excuse me, stewardess, I’d like a pillow.”
“That will be $50, sir.”
“Uh, forget it then.”
“Just asking for a pillow costs $10, and then if you decide not to use one, that’s an additional $5 surcharge. So if you decide that you want the pillow after all, it will now cost $65.”
“No, I still don’t want one.”
“That will be another $5.”

Take movie theaters, for instance. What if they charged $8.50 to get in the door, but $2.50 to get near the door? Think of it as the price of “pre-admission.”

Or maybe it only costs $2 to get into the movie theater . . . but it costs $10 if you want to get out.

Or perhaps movie theaters will start to charge for parking. After all, it is their lot. You don’t have to park there if you don’t want to, but if you do . . . that’ll be five bucks.

It’s only a matter of time before stuff like this actually happens, and it won’t be just airlines and movie theaters, either. But look on the bright side.

This blog is still free.

For now.

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Think About This:

“The most civilized people are as near to barbarism as the most polished steel is to rust. Nations, like metals, have only a superficial brilliancy.”

Antoine de Rivarol, epigrammatist (1753-1801)

Perspective is everything.

Take, for instance, the phrase, “Fifty is the new forty,” as in “Fifty years old is the new 40 years old.” I’d be willing to bet that phrase was first uttered by somebody who either 1.) just turned 50, or 2.) was about to turn 50.

Because for somebody who’s 18 years old, the difference between 40 and 50 is pretty much the difference between 100 and 101. Basically, there is no difference. They’re both older than dirt. Really, really old dirt.

So . . . does that mean “30 is the new 20″? Or that “20 is the new 10″?

“Well, son, you’re finally old enough. How about having a beer with your old man?”
“Dad, I’m 11.”
“Heck, that’s older than I was when I had my first beer. Drink up!”

I guess eventually they’ll be telling us that “dead is the new alive.” As it is, I’m past the point where I need to validate my existence with numbers. I should hope that my biggest goal is never to simply make it to my next birthday. I would mourn the day my life turns into a war of attrition.

I need a beer.

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Think About This:

“You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.”

Norman Douglas, novelist (1868-1952)