Forget Better Friends . . . Start Smoking Instead
So of course, this is the time when you see all sorts of advice articles regarding New Year’s Resolutions, how to make them, how to keep them, etc. One article I came across recently contained a rather interesting suggestion for how to ensure you keep your resolutions. That suggestion is this one:
“Get better friends.”
Okay, now correct me if I’m wrong, but this sounds more like an actual resolution than it does a way in which to keep them. I suppose there are instances where it would make sense, say if your resolution was to “stop robbing banks.” And if you’re a crystal meth addict, and you have friends who are crystal meth addicts, then it would also seem to be a sound strategy. But I’ve yet to have a friend of mine utilize peer pressure in an attempt to talk me out of a New Year’s Resolution.
“Matt, I heard about your resolution. It ain’t gonna fly.”
“But I feel that running every red light might be hazardous to my long-term health.”
“That’s going to reflect poorly upon us, your friends. Could you just stop smoking instead?”
“But I don’t smoke.”
“Maybe it’s time you started.”
“Okay, I’ll resolve to start smoking this year. I’ll resolve to stop next year.”
“Now you’re making sense.”
– — –
Think About This:
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
Bill Vaughn, American columnist and author (1915-1977)
Good to know I’m already ahead of the curve…I have a great set of encouraging peeps with permanent all access passes to the inner realm of Jennland. Guess I can check that one off the list :0)
Where exactly does one go to GET better friends? Do they have a trade-up program at Wal*Mart?
“How much can I get for this used friend?”
“Pretty ragged, are you interested in trading up for a new friend, looking for a better used friend, or just looking to get rid of an unnecessary friend?”
“I was told I need better friends for my new year’s resolution.”
“We happen to be running a sale on new ‘resolution support’ models this week. I’m sure I can cut you a good deal, and give you a good value for this loser.”
Actually, that sounds a lot like internet dating…. disturbing….
Now Kevin, that’s funny!!!